Was
by TheRandomPencil
Summary: Just a girl with a lot thoughts, listening to the rain.


**_Hi~! IT IS I, PERATH! Okay, putting that weird intro aside, hi there reader! This is the very first story you will see in this account of mine but it definitely isn't the first I've ever posted! I'm starting all over again with this account. I deleted all of my previous stories and will be posting new ones on their stead! Anyways, here's a little one-shot I did. I have never written anything remotely KotoUmi.. AT ALL. So.. this might not be the best. Anyways, enjoy this really angsty Honoka~!_**

* * *

 _Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat._

Really, with her ears against the window, she couldn't hear much of anything. The rain was falling in a rather desultory manner and she found that it was rather dulcet. Everything else was quiet. Other than the sound of the continuously pouring rain, she could hear nothing else. It was all blank. The silence, made her feel.. _nostalgic_. _Melancholic_ , even. She doesn't dislike the silence, no. It just makes her feel a bit odd. Her room wasn't usually this quiet. Even if it was, there would always be the chorus of breaths being made together. After all, her best friends would always be there with her. Well, at least she thought they would be.

Slowly, before she realized it, she was being kept out of the circle. The happy circle of friendship that they had begun forming into a heart. A very _passionate_ and _loving_ heart. The heat or burning love could be felt within the heart but.. there was a small dot on the outside. That dot.. on the cold abyss outside the warm heart, was her. Someone who used to be in the circle, but was slowly shaped out by time.

 _It was a circle._

 _Was._

Her two best friends loved each other. The ever so serious archer who'd constantly burst in anger over the smallest things and the ever so gentle designer who would always be there to calm her spirits. And then, there was her, the best friend who's right in the middle. It's funny, really. They seemed like a happy _family_. With the serious dad, the gentle mom and the ever so energetic child. They've always been this way. Ever since they were children, they were a dynamic trio. You would never see them apart. They would always, always be together, they said.

 _It was perfect._

 _Was._

That all changed. Honestly, she noticed. She noticed that the way her two friend's looked at each other was different. The longing in their eyes would never be visible when looking at any other person but each other. _Not even for her._ Not even for their best friend. This made her feel a lot of emotions that she couldn't explain. At first, she was happy. Happy that they held such dear feelings.. however.. she was also saddened. Saddened by the fact that these were feelings that she wasn't a part of. She couldn't help it. But she, at that moment, didn't want it.

When they finally got together, yes, she was happy. To see the beautiful smiles on her friends' faces, she felt like she had shared the experience as well. Their happiness was her's as well. And she thought that.. As long as her friends were happy that way, she would be happy as well. Happy for them, and happy for herself.

 _She was happy._

 _Was._

But soon enough, before she noticed, her friends have gone distant. Whenever they're together, the two of them would be in their own world. A world filled with passion, shared through their gazes and smiles. A world that no one else could enter. A world that she couldn't enter even if she tried. But she appreciated these times... When she no longer could. She could barely even explain how _dejected_ and _hopeless_ she felt.

It started with being out-of-place but now she barely sees them. She barely talks to them. Or even, not at all. There are a minimum to no interactions between them and.. surely, that mixed her up on the inside. It's something she was getting used to.. but.. she still can't manage to get over it. Her room that was usually filled with wonderful conversations that were accompanied by joyous laughter.. It has nothing but the sound of her own breath. And really, nothing could bring the noise she loved back.

 _It was a bliss._

 _Was._

She knew it wasn't going to come back. No matter how much she wished for it, what they had back then.. Would never come back. After all, in the kind of relationship her friends have, having a third-party just hanging around is a no-no. But even so, even if it's deemed natural for something of the like to happen, she couldn't just accept that.

Because for a fact, she had loved her friends. Loved them in the way they looked at each other. Not one, but both of them. They were an important part of her life and if it weren't for their fateful encounters, they wouldn't be who they are today. She wouldn't be who she is today.

All she could do was sigh. The feelings she has been holding.. She's going to let them flow out today. From a distance, she saw two familiar figures making their way over. They're almost there. Their footsteps seem slow and heavy, maybe due to the countless numbers of puddles they're encountering on their way. No, she shouldn't be looking at them yet. She can't let her emotions go just yet.

Looking over at the sky, she chose to ignore the two figures that would arrive at her doorsteps any minute. She told her tears to just halt for a moment. It's not time yet, so please, tears, not now. You can let the rain do that for you, yes? Closing her eyes to encase the small drops that were threatening to fall from her usually ocean blue yet now _aphotic_ eyes, she pressed her ears against the window once more.

 _Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat._

Ah, the rain is still pouring. And she's thankful for it. Because as long as the rain continues to sound, she could listen to it for as long as she could to keep her own thoughts down. To shake off her feelings and just sit down for a while. And long as the rain keeps on occupying her, she doesn't have to hear the voices in her head, telling her that she's alone now, but not for long.

 _For even just a moment, before she had to face everything, before she removes her barriers, before she has to risk everything that she had until now..._

 _And before the excruciating pain starts to eat her away,_

 _She could just listen to the rain and stop thinking about how it all was._

 _Was._


End file.
